Here are some ''snippets'' from my new story, its not much, but its the best I can do to get some feedback on my ideas. AND NO ITS NOT JUST A CHEESY ROMANCE STORY DX ITS FANTASY AND ACTION AS WELL AS ROMANCE!!

Snippet #1

This place wasn't as bad as I had thought from the beginning, but then again, its only been a few months. It was beginning to feel like a home.
I sat at my computer, nothing exciting was happening, it was too early for everyone to be on. As I glanced through familiar websites, I felt my stomach growl. I sighed, I hadn't eaten since last night, I was ignoring my body, not good.
I slowly walked downstairs to find my parents in the living room, the fireplace going, they were packing suitcases. I wondered why. Oh, right, they were packing for their annual trip to Vegas, I had totally forgotten.
When I reached the kitchen I immediately opened the fridge and to my pleasure, there rested strawberries, cut up and delicately marinaded in sugar. Now all I needed was some cake. I glanced around and spied a small pound cake. "Yes!" I exclaimed as I grabbed it and started putting my delicacy together.
I sat down at the bar, placing my food in front of me, I was about to take a bite when my Dad interrupted me.
"I know you're 18 now, Elizabeth, but I'm asking you, no, telling you, do not invite that boy over." He said sternly.
This caught me of guard, "What?! I can't invite Ryan over? Why not! Thats ridiculous! Don't you trust me!?" I basically screeched at him.
"You two are too close! Your over each other enough when WE'RE around, I can't imagine what would go on when you two are ALONE!"
I clamped my mouth shut, thinking of the best retort, and then it hit me. "Oh, speaking from experience are we? Nice to know that you trust me," I stood, picking up my food and heading towards the stairs, but turned half way to look at him, "thanks for thinking I'm a whore, who can't keep her hands of her boyfriend." I turned sharply and hurried up the stairs.


Snippet #2

I hadn't woken in time to see my parents off, good, I didn't want to see them off, not after what they did last night. Treating me like an irresponsible child.
I sat up in bed, feeling a bit different today, I felt rebellious. A grin spread across my face as an idea came into my head. I grabbed the cellphone sitting on my nightstand and punched in a number.
As I pressed the phone to my ear, I became nervous.
"Hello?" Came the sexiest voice on the other end.
"Hey," I said quickly, "Its me."
"Oh, Hey sweetheart, what's going on?"
"Nothing much, I just woke up. Listen, Ryan, do you want to come over tonight? My parents just left for Vegas and I'm kinda nervous about staying here by myself tonight."
This caught him off guard. "Sure, Hun, what time do you want me over?"
I thought for a moment, I would have to clean up the house, go to the grocery store, and then take a shower. "How about 5?" I asked.
"Sure, sounds great. I'll see you then." He hesitated, as if thinking. "I love you."
This startled me, he hadn't said that to me before, it gave me that warm gooey feeling inside. "I love you too, Ryan. Bye." I pressed the button on my phone, and just stared at it for a moment, taking in what had just happened. Oh, My God.


Snippet # 3

I had just gotten home with my groceries, I had begun to put them away when I glanced at the clock. 4:30. Oh crap. I frantically started putting the groceries away, and when I finished, I ran upstairs as fast as I could, slipping once or twice. I stripped off my clothes and got into the shower. My shower only lasted 15 minutes, so I spent the last 15 minutes getting dressed and blow drying my hair, which didn't take that long, or so I thought.
In the middle of blow drying, I heard the doorbell ring, crap, I had run out of time. I unplugged the blow dryer and hurried downstairs to the door, and hastily opened it, regaining my calm.
"Hey Ryan." I said with a smile, I was still nervous.
"Hey beautiful." He grinned at me as he walked in, carrying his bags with one hand. "where should I put this?"
"Oh,here follow me." I said, then lead him to the covered porch by the lake. I sat down on the bed I kept in there for the nights I didn't want to sleep in my room.
He laughed softly, "You have two beds?" He asked, amused.
I blushed bright red, "Oh shush, who wouldn't? Its gorgeous out here." I laughed, "this is where I take naps."
He sat down beside me. "So thats how it is, hm?" He was teasing me.
I crossed my arms and pouted. "Yes thats how it is."
He laughed and leaned in and kissed my temple, "You know I'm only playing. Its a good idea. A wicked view too, I would kill to have a private place like this, all to myself."
I leaned my head on his shoulder, "well, you can use it whenever you like."
He laughed, then looked to me, "I don't think your Dad would like that very much."
"Ah, he doesn't know what hes talking about." I frowned.
Ryan took my hand in his, "All he is doing is worry about you, we're still teenagers, there is reasonable doubt against us."
"Just because we're teenagers they can't trust us to keep our hands off each other?" I was mad again.
"No, no I'm just saying, thats what THEY think, I know that we can manage." he chuckled. "Though its hard to manage."


Snippet #4

It felt weird, these changes to my body, I felt more energetic, more spiritual. Running through the forest with great speed, oh, it felt so wonderful, so right.
A strange smell came upon me suddenly. I came to a complete halt, and looked around. The smell was almost sickening, it smelt like death, very old death. My eyes came to rest on a figure, standing a few hundred feet away, I could barely make them out, but they were tall, and pale. The smell was coming from them. The strange person turned to face me, and started forward.
The hair on the back of my neck stood straight up, my skin tingled, I was trembling, what was going on? My mouth turned to an ugly form, a ferocious form. I was baring my teeth at this person, as they came closer, the smell just got more and more revolting. The human inside of my wanted to retch, but the monster inside of me wanted to fight. Without thinking, I let out a ferocious deadly snarl at the person, and they stopped dead in their tracks. We were at a stalemate.

I leiked these :0 what ever happened to them?

i want to read the whole story! I'm hooked, especially the last snippet i was all :O